Illuminate - June 2021 - Whose Monster?
Welcome to the inaugural issue of Illuminate, a letter of encouragement to writers (and readers) on the craft of writing. Adding light to your creative day. This month's topic is:
Whose Monster?
If you’ve had the good fortune to write things you like, to spend time creating on the page, you are familiar with the bliss of giving your imagination free rein, allowing your mind to repurpose memory and paint pictures in words. There’s real joy here, even when the writing’s not so hot. The bliss of words streaming onto the page or screen is glorious. And addictive. And, like an addict, some days you may find yourself sitting with pen in hand, or laptop open to a blank white page, waiting for the hit, the fix, that marvelous feeling… and being unable to start. What the hell is going on?
Like the shadowy figure standing in the doorway of your closet, ghost, demon, creepy guy, making you terrified until you turn on the light, there is no ghost, demon, or man to be found. Just a piece of clothing dangling on hanger. So it is with our obstacles to writing. If we pull them out into the light, they shrivel up into something we can ignore and maybe even laugh at.
So let’s drag that creepy thing kicking and screaming from under the bed, grabbing all the nasty dust-bunnies it can hold.
My Buddhist teacher recently told me, “Uncertainty is your jam.” (Great t-shirt, right?) In the context of Buddhist practice, this means sitting with what’s happened. Not pushing away things we don’t want; rain on a weekend, feeling sick, car breaking down. In writing, there’s so much uncertainty involved — how do I start? can I reach that high again? why does every word feel like shit? — it can completely shut us down.
Uncertainty. Believing there’s a good chance you’ll fail, that sweet spot of writing won’t come, you’ll prove to yourself and the world how unworthy you are… so you don’t even try. If you knew for sure that it would work, that sitting and writing would give you pleasure, you’d never avoid it, never leave a page blank or screen empty. You would cheerfully and happily write. But there’s the monster under the bed. I might fail!
One of the origins of the word ‘fail’ is from Latin, fallere "to trip, cause to fall" and "to deceive, trick, dupe.” So I ask you, whose monster is it that’s keeping you from what you want to do? Are there outside forces paralyzing your fingers and fogging your brain? Or is the monster in your head? You can change. You can write for fun and pleasure. There’s no block but the one you’ve constructed.
As one of my students wrote recently, “things can always get worse, right? Then can’t they be better?” If there’s a chance for failure, isn’t there a chance for success? Isn’t the only real failure failing to begin?
So here’s what you tell your monster: I see you. I feel you. Now go away and let me play. Make a date with your muse instead, and try to keep it every day. This date is not the only time you're allowed to write, but it's a promise made to yourself that you will write. Although you may long for a big piece of writing time, all afternoon, perhaps. Maybe even a whole day! It's okay if all you get is 10 minutes. Quantity is not the goal here. Keeping a promise is. Make the date. Sit in your quiet space. Take a deep breath and begin.
Writing Prompt
I was in a reflective writing workshop at the National Gallery taught by Mary Hall Surface - playwright, teaching artist. She introduced us to the 20-second freewrite, which I’ve found to be a great way to kick-start your writing session.
Here’s your prompt:
1) look out your window. If you’re not near a window, go find one. If you can’t be near a window right now, imagine a window you like to look out of.
2) set a timer for 20 seconds and write what you see out your window. Whatever you notice, people and cars, birds and dogs, trees and sky. And when the timer goes off, stop writing. Really. Lift the pen off the paper, fingers off the keyboard. Just stop.
3) read what you wrote aloud. If there’s anything you want to keep, keep it. If you’d like to expand on this, expand. If you find you can use this in a work-in-progress, use it. If you don't want to use this piece of writing, set the timer for 20 seconds and write your earliest memory. Go!
NEWS
IT’S A BOOK!
A few years’ ago, David and I started writing a novel in two voices which we titled Angel Falls. It’s been through several edits, reduced from 140,000 words to 100,000, sent to dozens and dozens of agents, having some bites but no buys. In March, I opened an email with subject line Angel Falls expecting to find yet another "it's not a perfect fit for me" and instead found this:
"We really like Angel Falls and would like to speak with you about publishing it."
O frabjous day! We signed with Haverhill House Publishing and they will be producing our novel under their YA imprint YAP in summer 2022. Keep your eyes on this space in forthcoming newsletters for progress and updates.
Our first book-child together! We can’t wait.
Remembering 9/11: I'll be teaching a new writing workshop via Zoom starting 7/13/21. Join us for a deep but gentle dive into our memories around the tragedies of 9/11/01, and its influences on us in the twenty years since. Hosted by White Plains Public Library via Zoom. Eight Tuesday evenings starting 7/13. Registration is currently open.
Coming Attractions
July promises: early memories and how to write them; updates on progress of Angel Falls; workshop and publication news; calls for submissions – time to get your writing out into the world.
It was a pleasure sharing my thoughts with you all. If you’ve enjoyed this email and know of someone who might also enjoy it, please share.
May all your writing feel Illuminated!